Summer Parenting Tips for Stepmoms
If you're a stepmom staring down the second half of summer and feeling equal parts hopeful and overwhelmed, you're not alone! Summer break can bring sunshine and smiles, but also schedule disruptions, shifting parenting dynamics, and a whole lot of decision fatigue.
To help make sense of this tricky season, I recently sat down with fellow stepfamily coach Brittney Phillips of Blending Bravely to chat about what summer really looks like in a blended family…and how to make it work better for everyone, including you.
Here are some of my biggest takeaways from our conversation—real-life summer parenting tips for stepmoms—whether you're navigating your first summer in a stepfamily or your fifteenth:
1. Expect the unexpected: Your summer schedule will change
Even the best-laid blended family summer schedules tend to get disrupted. Between travel plans, custody switches, summer camps, and teens’ social lives, it's almost impossible to stick to a perfect routine.
“It changes every year,” Brittney shared. “And what works one summer might not work the next.”
TIP: Treat your summer routine like a draft, not a rulebook. Keep a flexible calendar, and revisit it weekly with your partner to stay aligned.
2. Normalize different parenting styles (and talk about them early)
One of the biggest stressors in stepfamily summer life? Parenting differences between partners. Brittney, a former teacher, describes herself as someone who thrives on advanced plans, while her husband is more go-with-the-flow.
“We had to find our middle ground,” she said. “As in, we might plan it… but it also might start 30 minutes late.”
TIP: Don’t wait for conflict to arise; schedule a check-in with your partner before summer starts (or now!) to talk through expectations for structure, transitions, and flexibility.
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3. Set screen time boundaries that work for your household
Screen time can become a battleground—especially when your co-parent’s screen time rules differ wildly from your own.
Brittney’s approach? A simple-but-clear rule: no screens before 3 p.m. This gives kids time to engage in creative, physical, or social activities…and removes the temptation to default to tech all day.
TIP: Pick a screen rule that’s easy to remember and enforce. Communicate it with confidence: “Here’s how we do it in our house.”
4. Build structure that allows for flexibility
Structure matters, but it doesn’t have to feel like a prison. Brittney uses a “first we work, then we play” model:
Kids complete a small checklist (e.g., reading, chores, and Chinese practice) before screen time or social plans.
“It benefits me. It benefits them,” she said. “And it helps them understand why we’re doing it.”
TIP: Kids thrive with predictability, but too much rigidity can backfire. Aim for routines that are repeatable, not rigid, and explain why the structure exists.
5. Don’t skip the stepmom self-care
It’s easy to center the kids’ experience of summer and forget your own. But as Brittney wisely reminded us: Summer should be fun for you, too!
For her, that looks like:
A daily solo walk (no matter the weather)
A non-negotiable family trip, even if it’s a low-key staycation
Letting go of unrealistic expectations about how a “perfect” summer should look
TIP: Ask yourself: What would make this summer meaningful for me? Then commit to protecting at least one small piece of that vision.
6. Mind the mental load (especially if you're home more)
If you're the one home more often during the summer, the invisible work of parenting—planning meals, behavior management, logistics, emotional support—can pile up fast! Even in homes where parenting responsibilities are usually well-balanced, summer can quickly shift the burden.
TIP: Acknowledge the load. Name it. And if possible, reallocate it. You shouldn’t have to carry it all just because your summer setup looks different.
(For another real-life look at the mental load of stepmotherhood, check out this post about becoming a full-time stepmom.)
7. Let go of the “perfect vacation” fantasy
Finally, if you're heading out on a blended family vacation and dreading the drama, know this: You're not doing it wrong. You're doing it in real life.
“Sometimes I’m like, why did we bring this chaos out to eat, out into the world?” Brittney laughed. “But I remind myself: There are no perfect families.”
TIP: Ditch the fantasy and focus on connection. Even imperfect memories can be meaningful ones.
Final Thoughts
Summer can be a beautiful time for blended families, but it’s rarely effortless.
By embracing flexibility, communicating clearly with your partner, and protecting your own joy, you can make this season work better for everyone.
Remember: You deserve a summer that’s not just survivable, but satisfying.
New here? Hi! 👋 I'm Michaela Bucchianeri, PhD — psychologist + stepmom of 13 years
…and I can’t wait to help you live a stepmom life you love.
Becoming a stepmom rocked my world in just about every way. And while this role brings so much potential for joy and fulfillment… the path to getting there isn't always intuitive.
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