Co-Parenting and Communication in Blended Families with Jamie Newton-Knight
Co-parenting isn’t just a phase—it’s a lifelong partnership. And in blended families, communication is the glue that holds everything together.
In the final installment of our Stepmom Summer Chats series, I had the pleasure of speaking with Jamie Newton-Knight, motherhood mentor, co-parenting coach, and founder of Blended Black Family. With over two decades of lived experience navigating complex family dynamics, Jamie brings a powerful mix of truth, tenderness, and tactical wisdom to the conversation.
Whether you're co-parenting with your ex, communicating with your partner’s ex, or learning how to disengage from drama without disconnecting from what matters—this post is packed with hard-won insight for every season of blended family life:
When summer shakes things up: Co-parenting stressors in blended families
Summertime may offer more relaxed schedules, but for many parents in blended families, it also brings new stressors. As Jamie explains:
“This new situation that has just occurred where they’re now having to share time can become difficult for a person who has been doing it on their own.”
Many of the moms Jamie supports experience separation anxiety and struggle to enjoy any time off the summer may provide them.
For moms and stepmoms alike, summer often highlights the emotional push-pull of shared custody, unclear expectations, and disrupted routines…especially when parenting styles differ across households.
When one partner grieves and the other breathes
In some families, the stepparent may experience relief or freedom when the stepkids are away, while their partner feels intense loss or sadness. Jamie and I explored this tension:
“It’s that piece of like, I want to validate your feelings... but I also want to acknowledge that I am in a place of peace.”
This contrast can be jarring in stepcouples. One partner is aching for the kids; the other is grateful to finally exhale. Navigating this dynamic well requires honesty, empathy, and above all—clear communication.
Ready for mentorship, encouragement, and real-talk reflections?
Join my email list and get one story + one skill + one script, delivered to your inbox every Friday.
The power of the pause: Choosing peace over reactivity
Jamie shared a deeply personal story of how she learned to de-escalate conflict with her co-parent, not by giving in, but by tuning in to her own nervous system:
“I felt like I had literally been in a physical fight... and when I started to recognize that, I was like, why am I exerting all this energy into this argument?”
Her biggest piece of advice to parents and stepparents?
“You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to.”
By paying attention to what her body was telling her—and choosing to pause rather than engage—Jamie began to reroute years of reactive communication patterns. This practice ultimately reshaped her relationship with her co-parent and created more stability for her son.
How to co-parent with your ex (even with a messy history)
One of the most powerful parts of our conversation was Jamie’s candid reflection on how she and her son’s stepmom moved from tension to teamwork:
“We apologized to each other... and I’m telling you, things have been so smooth ever since.”
What changed?
Open acknowledgment of the past
A shared commitment to peace
Willingness to team up for the child’s well-being
“Try to view that bonus parent as your ally instead of your adversary... It makes life, not just for yourself, but for your child, so much easier.”
If you’re wondering how to communicate with your partner’s ex—or your own co-parent—start here: Lead with clarity, boundaries, and respect, not reactivity.
Reminder: Co-parenting doesn’t end at 18
Many parents assume that co-parenting conversations will fade into the background as kids grow and mature. But, Jamie reminds us:
“It does not stop at 18. This is for life.”
There will likely be birthdays to celebrate, travel to coordinate, and adult milestones to navigate together. Even when the frequency of communication decreases, the need for healthy communication lives on.
RELATED READING:
Don’t miss the rest of the posts in our Stepmom Summer Chats series:
Summer Parenting Tips for Stepmoms with Brittney Phillips
Becoming a Full-Time Stepmom: What No One Tells You About the Transition with Lauren Weeks
Ours Baby, Full House: Navigating the Blended Family Shift with Jasmine Yow
Stepmom Advice for Teenage Years with Tammy Johnson
Blended Family Communication Strategies to Stay Connected with Stephen Nemetchek
Playing the long game of co-parenting and communication
Jamie emphasizes that progress is rarely linear… but it is always worth celebrating.
“Any little thing that you see that is different from what it once was… That’s progress!”
Whether you're navigating summer custody shifts, trying to get on the same page with your partner, or working through the long shadow of a fractured past—you are not behind.
You're simply in the midst of the long game. And you're doing better than you think.
New here? Hi! 👋 I'm Michaela Bucchianeri, PhD — psychologist + stepmom of 13 years
…and I can’t wait to help you live a stepmom life you love.
Becoming a stepmom rocked my world in just about every way. And while this role brings so much potential for joy and fulfillment… the path to getting there isn't always intuitive.
Now? I'm on a mission to help you create a stepmom identity that's all your own– so you can worry less, shift your energy to whatever lights you up, and start having (way) more fun.
A FEW PLACES TO START:
💌 Subscribe to The Stepmom Sleepover. Join our week(end)ly, virtual slumber party where you’ll find candid stories, game-changing stepmom skills, and a roundup of goodies— from relevant research to book recs to stepfamily-tested scripts + more! Stepmom life’s a whole lot easier when you’re not doing it alone.
📺 Check out our YouTube channel. This is where you’ll find all the trending topics, real-time conversations, and video library of resources for stepmoms, all in one place! New videos every week.
💬 Come say Hello! Slide into my DMs and let’s chat about stepmom life!
To get in touch with me directly, send me a DM or email hello@theanxiousstepmom.com.
I’m so glad you’re here!